Sprezz editor, Pilar D'Agnese, recently gave me the OK to post one celebrity gossip post per year without turning into a huge dorkus malorkus (the most irritating species of nerd). It's in good merit, I promise. Thanks for bearing with me.
Keep in mind that aside from catchin' a little E! here and there (yea, I admit it), I'm not much for celeb drama, but it's impossible to avoid gossip mags at the supermarket and CVS. They know just how to grab your attention and lately I keep noticing the same front page theme...
"Jennifer Aniston gets played!"
What the hell is going on here? Sure, you can argue that a breach of privacy comes with the celebrity package, but damn... Enough is enough. This girl's taken some serious abuse.
As a normal person, I get sick and tired of Facebook's effect on everyone's social lives. "Who's he/she with in that pic? Relationship status change?? Why is that clown posting on her wall?!"
I can't imagine a life where there's a play-by-play tabloid report every time that I meet someone for coffee!
We all know about Brad. Then, there was John Mayer. Now, Jen's apparently getting passed up by another Brad...
Most people would flee to a secluded island after taking such public humiliation. But not Jen. She's a true example of resilience. Just when you think that the girl can't possibly take anymore, she bounces back onto the scene and does her thing. I've never seen a late night show appearance where Jen wasn't completely poised and confident.
My old man once told me, "Son, you've gotta be on the dance floor if u wanna get laid."
Well, keep dancing, Jen... I've got ya back. Thanks for being so clutch.
(If you liked today's post, show some love and share the link with one friend/coworker who might also enjoy. Thanks)
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Monday, July 13, 2009
The Ride Guide
It's summer time, when people enjoy taking trips and trying new experiences. We love to get away. However, you've gotta tough out the traveling in order to reach your destination . I spent almost 10 hours on a bus this weekend. Not exactly my ideal situation but hey, you do what you gotta do, and you make the best of it.
If flying first class isn't an option (and you're traveling alone) here's a quick guide for your next long ride:
As always, your seat selection plays a pivotal role in determining your comfort and happiness.
Stop wasting time and snatch the aisle seat. The window's for chumps. Sure, the view's better, but then you have to bug your neighbor every time you want to stretch your legs or use the restroom.
Once you've secured the prime real estate, it's lottery time.
This is just like the mating process. On boarding passengers scope out the room and begin sizing up their options. "Can I deal with this guy for the next 5 hours? That's a creepy tattoo. Is he gonna be a problem?"
Meanwhile, you should place your bag on the window seat to mark your territory. Then throw on a pair of sunglasses, headphones, and bust out your most convincing fake sleeping act to fend off the oncoming traffic. The goal, of course, is to hit the jackpot double seater. Unfortunately, while we all take the gamble, success is rare. Eventually, somebody will probably ask if they can squeeze in.
Now just cross your fingers that you don't get stuck with a sloppy sandwich eater, a snowball, a smelly snowball, a crying baby, a sleepy shoulder slumper, an overly loud headphone listener, a shoe remover, a cell phone chatter, or a snorer. Good luck.
Initiating conversation... Well, that's your call. Personally, I've met some awesome people over the years and it really helps to pass the time. Besides, if you want to abort all of the chitchat, you can always pull a quick dip to the bathroom. Then, on your return, revert to the magazine move or take the the iPod/sleeping route. They'll get the point.
Finally, it's assumed that you've brought the traditional arsenal which consists of music, magazines and candy. You should be all set.
Enjoy the ride and stay sprezzin'...
(If you liked today's post, show some love and share the link with one friend/coworker who might also enjoy. Thanks)
If flying first class isn't an option (and you're traveling alone) here's a quick guide for your next long ride:
As always, your seat selection plays a pivotal role in determining your comfort and happiness.
Stop wasting time and snatch the aisle seat. The window's for chumps. Sure, the view's better, but then you have to bug your neighbor every time you want to stretch your legs or use the restroom.
Once you've secured the prime real estate, it's lottery time.
This is just like the mating process. On boarding passengers scope out the room and begin sizing up their options. "Can I deal with this guy for the next 5 hours? That's a creepy tattoo. Is he gonna be a problem?"
Meanwhile, you should place your bag on the window seat to mark your territory. Then throw on a pair of sunglasses, headphones, and bust out your most convincing fake sleeping act to fend off the oncoming traffic. The goal, of course, is to hit the jackpot double seater. Unfortunately, while we all take the gamble, success is rare. Eventually, somebody will probably ask if they can squeeze in.
Now just cross your fingers that you don't get stuck with a sloppy sandwich eater, a snowball, a smelly snowball, a crying baby, a sleepy shoulder slumper, an overly loud headphone listener, a shoe remover, a cell phone chatter, or a snorer. Good luck.
Initiating conversation... Well, that's your call. Personally, I've met some awesome people over the years and it really helps to pass the time. Besides, if you want to abort all of the chitchat, you can always pull a quick dip to the bathroom. Then, on your return, revert to the magazine move or take the the iPod/sleeping route. They'll get the point.
Finally, it's assumed that you've brought the traditional arsenal which consists of music, magazines and candy. You should be all set.
Enjoy the ride and stay sprezzin'...
(If you liked today's post, show some love and share the link with one friend/coworker who might also enjoy. Thanks)
Friday, July 10, 2009
Chill with The VM!
I’m not a ranter. I try not to, at least. It usually comes off as too angry in tone and I prefer leaving that to Dr. Bob. So today I’m going to enlighten, not complain, about something that’s been on my mind and needs to be addressed.
Here it is:
Voice mail… should be used… sparingly.
If you have an urgent message that you absolutely need to get across, then fine, I’ll give you that. You can leave a VM. But otherwise, why bother?
A text message is the way to go. It’s quick, simple, and communicates just as effectively. Who wants to deal with the whole process of the automated voice ordering you around to log in your password?
Then you have to scroll through one message after another...Only to run into pivotal moments of decision time. Do you delete? What if for some reason you need to retrace? Should it be saved?
Finally, after you’ve made up your mind, you have "Robocop" reminding you about expiring messages. These need to be addressed ASAP. It like you've been assigned homework!
Besides, I don’t need a voice mail explaining, “Hey Steve, it’s me… Give me a call when you get this." (Note: As Seinfeld pointed out, people never refer to themselves using their name. I’m on an “it's me basis” with everyone.)
Trust me, this can easily be avoided. Let me assure you that all it takes is a missed call indicator…. And I’ll get back to you.
Then, of course, there’s the fake out aspect. When I receive a voice mail on my blackberry, it shows the same icon as if it were a text message- which happens to be much more exciting.
I always wonder, has the day arrived in which some old friend whom I haven’t spoken to in years but still randomly think about and hope that one day our paths shall once again cross, finally reached out?
Here it is:
Voice mail… should be used… sparingly.
If you have an urgent message that you absolutely need to get across, then fine, I’ll give you that. You can leave a VM. But otherwise, why bother?
A text message is the way to go. It’s quick, simple, and communicates just as effectively. Who wants to deal with the whole process of the automated voice ordering you around to log in your password?
Then you have to scroll through one message after another...Only to run into pivotal moments of decision time. Do you delete? What if for some reason you need to retrace? Should it be saved?
Finally, after you’ve made up your mind, you have "Robocop" reminding you about expiring messages. These need to be addressed ASAP. It like you've been assigned homework!
Besides, I don’t need a voice mail explaining, “Hey Steve, it’s me… Give me a call when you get this." (Note: As Seinfeld pointed out, people never refer to themselves using their name. I’m on an “it's me basis” with everyone.)
Trust me, this can easily be avoided. Let me assure you that all it takes is a missed call indicator…. And I’ll get back to you.
Then, of course, there’s the fake out aspect. When I receive a voice mail on my blackberry, it shows the same icon as if it were a text message- which happens to be much more exciting.
I always wonder, has the day arrived in which some old friend whom I haven’t spoken to in years but still randomly think about and hope that one day our paths shall once again cross, finally reached out?
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Traffic Sitting Not Your Style?
Thanks to Dan R for the following link on a new car... that can fly!
Check out the article: click here
(picture from link)
They're expected to hit the skies by 2011 and will run ya about $200,000. This bad boy's wings even fold up (in just 30 seconds) to fit inside of your garage!
Check out the article: click here
(picture from link)
They're expected to hit the skies by 2011 and will run ya about $200,000. This bad boy's wings even fold up (in just 30 seconds) to fit inside of your garage!
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Whats Up with Public Enemies?
This weekend, I saw Public Enemies and as promised, I'll share my thoughts. Am I an expert? Absolutely not. But sometimes it’s nice to have an “average guy” help you out if you’re on the fence about dropping your $12.
For a technical and in depth review, read the NY Times. I'm just gonna keep it real...
I was pumped for this one. When Johnny Depp signs off on a project, you know that it's gonna be legit. The problem is that usually he sticks to movies that are "out there" like Pirates or Charlie and Chocolate Factory. So it was exciting to hear that he'd be playing a bad ass bank robber.
As expected, Depp killed the role... Nailed it! The movie is worth seeing for his charisma alone. Then you've got Christian Bale in the lineup, all of which is being puppet mastered by Michael Mann (Heat).
If you saw Heat then you know what to expect because PE is the same deal. Tons of gun fights (not too gory), a couple of classic quotes and a wild ride that lasts a little too long. By the end of the movie, you're exhausted.
Consider my rating system for a movie’s desirability:
- Don’t waste your time
- Don’t waste your money (wait until it’s released on TV)
- Mid week movie
- Friday night flick
- Saturday night extravaganza
Public Enemies is a Saturday night extravaganza. It's not a 5 star home run, but everyone's gonna be talking about it and you don't want to miss out. That wouldn't be very Sprezz.
For a technical and in depth review, read the NY Times. I'm just gonna keep it real...
I was pumped for this one. When Johnny Depp signs off on a project, you know that it's gonna be legit. The problem is that usually he sticks to movies that are "out there" like Pirates or Charlie and Chocolate Factory. So it was exciting to hear that he'd be playing a bad ass bank robber.
As expected, Depp killed the role... Nailed it! The movie is worth seeing for his charisma alone. Then you've got Christian Bale in the lineup, all of which is being puppet mastered by Michael Mann (Heat).
If you saw Heat then you know what to expect because PE is the same deal. Tons of gun fights (not too gory), a couple of classic quotes and a wild ride that lasts a little too long. By the end of the movie, you're exhausted.
Consider my rating system for a movie’s desirability:
- Don’t waste your time
- Don’t waste your money (wait until it’s released on TV)
- Mid week movie
- Friday night flick
- Saturday night extravaganza
Public Enemies is a Saturday night extravaganza. It's not a 5 star home run, but everyone's gonna be talking about it and you don't want to miss out. That wouldn't be very Sprezz.
Monday, July 6, 2009
The GBS
I'm not sure what's been in the air lately, but a lot of my friends have been dealing with breakups. The event's always stressful and when you see your friend in pain, you want to make them feel better.
Some people claim that only time heals, but I always think back to The GBS which proves otherwise...
About a year ago, my good friend Jim had just broken up with his girl. Since it usually hurts the worst at night, I knew that he had to get out of the apartment and set up plans for us and our friend Mike to meet some ladies in the city.
"Thanks Steve. You really hooked it up tonight", Jim said, expressing his appreciation.
"Don't you worry, Jim-Bo. That's just what I do", I shot back.
So we got ready, threw back a few shots to kick off the night and headed into the city.
From a distance, the bar we were meeting the girls at looked classy. I was a little concerned that Mike might not get in because he was wearing sandals but when we walked up the bouncer appeared to be in a great mood. He greeted us with a friendly smile and ushered us inside without a problem.
"We must be radiating those winners vibes tonight", I thought.
Then I scanned the environment for our girls. I had a hard time finding them. As a matter of fact, I didn't see ANY girls. The entire place was littered with dudes.
"Wait a sec, what the..."
Suddenly, I received a call from the target demographic. They told us to head to the back while confirming that they were with their homosexual boss for the night. This was a gay bar.
Immediately after, from the corner of my eyes, I could feel Jim and Mike staring me down like Joe Pesci in Goodfellas, "You moddafucka, you".
Can't make this stuff up.
Fortunately, they showed some Sprezz and kept their cool. The next day Jim and I were even joking that Mike had seemed to be enjoying himself a little too much. But hey, that's the point- my friend was now laughing instead of sulking. Apparently, just being taken out of his reality helped to clear his head.
What can I say? It was all part of the plan... That's the Gay Bar Story.
Some people claim that only time heals, but I always think back to The GBS which proves otherwise...
About a year ago, my good friend Jim had just broken up with his girl. Since it usually hurts the worst at night, I knew that he had to get out of the apartment and set up plans for us and our friend Mike to meet some ladies in the city.
"Thanks Steve. You really hooked it up tonight", Jim said, expressing his appreciation.
"Don't you worry, Jim-Bo. That's just what I do", I shot back.
So we got ready, threw back a few shots to kick off the night and headed into the city.
From a distance, the bar we were meeting the girls at looked classy. I was a little concerned that Mike might not get in because he was wearing sandals but when we walked up the bouncer appeared to be in a great mood. He greeted us with a friendly smile and ushered us inside without a problem.
"We must be radiating those winners vibes tonight", I thought.
Then I scanned the environment for our girls. I had a hard time finding them. As a matter of fact, I didn't see ANY girls. The entire place was littered with dudes.
"Wait a sec, what the..."
Suddenly, I received a call from the target demographic. They told us to head to the back while confirming that they were with their homosexual boss for the night. This was a gay bar.
Immediately after, from the corner of my eyes, I could feel Jim and Mike staring me down like Joe Pesci in Goodfellas, "You moddafucka, you".
Can't make this stuff up.
Fortunately, they showed some Sprezz and kept their cool. The next day Jim and I were even joking that Mike had seemed to be enjoying himself a little too much. But hey, that's the point- my friend was now laughing instead of sulking. Apparently, just being taken out of his reality helped to clear his head.
What can I say? It was all part of the plan... That's the Gay Bar Story.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
June's Sprezz of the Month
With another month in the books, it’s time to give the honors. It’s time for the Sprezz/Spazz of June.
There’s been a lot of Spazz action. To kick things off, we had Mark Sanford, the governor of SC, who mysteriously took off for a week without informing his staff. Turns out that he was having an affair. Check out an e-mail he had sent to his lover on the side:
“You have a particular grace and calm that I adore. You have a level of sophistication that is so fitting with your beauty. I could digress and say that you have the ability to give magnificent gentle kisses, or that I love your tan lines or that I love the curve of your hips, the erotic beauty of you holding yourself… in the faded glow of the night’s light – but hey, that would be going into sexual details.” (from the Washington Post)
Pretty smooth….. But not smooth enough to avoid getting busted.
Some runners up included Michael Jackson’s doctor and Jon Gosselin. While it’s hard to tell exactly what went on with Jackson (celebrity cases are always shady), all signs point to the fact that he was up to no good.
Then you had Gosselin who milked up the courageousness of having 8 children with his wife, Kate, on a hit reality TV show… and then took a page out of Sanford’s book by getting nailed for having an affair.
On the other hand, there was some justice as judge Denny Chin’s sentence of 150 years basically stuck a fork in Bernie Madoff. I’m not sure if that’s Sprezz – real dicey topic but it was a significant event.
Unquestionably, the Sprezz of the month goes to The Hangover. Unbelievable movie. Anywhere you went, everyone you talked to, people were raving… and for good reason. In a month filled with the passing away of major celebrities and relentless, depressing rain, this movie took us out of our world and provided 100 minutes of nonstop smiles and laughs…. That’s Sprezzatura.
There’s been a lot of Spazz action. To kick things off, we had Mark Sanford, the governor of SC, who mysteriously took off for a week without informing his staff. Turns out that he was having an affair. Check out an e-mail he had sent to his lover on the side:
“You have a particular grace and calm that I adore. You have a level of sophistication that is so fitting with your beauty. I could digress and say that you have the ability to give magnificent gentle kisses, or that I love your tan lines or that I love the curve of your hips, the erotic beauty of you holding yourself… in the faded glow of the night’s light – but hey, that would be going into sexual details.” (from the Washington Post)
Pretty smooth….. But not smooth enough to avoid getting busted.
Some runners up included Michael Jackson’s doctor and Jon Gosselin. While it’s hard to tell exactly what went on with Jackson (celebrity cases are always shady), all signs point to the fact that he was up to no good.
Then you had Gosselin who milked up the courageousness of having 8 children with his wife, Kate, on a hit reality TV show… and then took a page out of Sanford’s book by getting nailed for having an affair.
On the other hand, there was some justice as judge Denny Chin’s sentence of 150 years basically stuck a fork in Bernie Madoff. I’m not sure if that’s Sprezz – real dicey topic but it was a significant event.
Unquestionably, the Sprezz of the month goes to The Hangover. Unbelievable movie. Anywhere you went, everyone you talked to, people were raving… and for good reason. In a month filled with the passing away of major celebrities and relentless, depressing rain, this movie took us out of our world and provided 100 minutes of nonstop smiles and laughs…. That’s Sprezzatura.
(If you liked today's post, show some love and share the link with one friend/coworker who might also enjoy. Thanks.)
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