Once again, my buddy JB and I have jotted down a few helpful notes. Today's topics, well-drinks with straws & ankle pants, relate specifically to men.
Well-drinks & Straws: Gentlemen, you have to be careful with those teeny red straws that accompany your whiskey on the rocks.
I used to wonder why they're even included with the drink. Could it be for hygiene purposes?
Were there too many drunken customers concerned, ya know, in between sucking face with multiple complete strangers all night, that their glasses may have skipped the dishwasher??
Also, if you don’t know any better, the mere insertion of the teeny red straw can suddenly transform your cocktail into a modern day torture chamber.
We’ve all witnessed the goofy guy in the corner with his eyes bulging out of his skull as he sucks back like the Hoover H2800 FloorMate, just PRAYING for a few drops of alcohol! It’s never pretty.
When you’re at the bar, straws are only useful for women to mix their beverage in a slow and seductive fashion, which lets you know they're interested. That’s it.
If you're a man, ditch the straw.
Ankle Pants: A rare breed of individuals exists whose pants do not fully reach their shoes and instead extend merely to their ankles.
There’s something fishy about this. What happened here? Did they have a sudden growth spurt? Did their wives shrink their clothes in the wash?
I can’t imagine they gave clear orders to their tailor, “Now see here, I’m going to need about an inch of sock”.
Especially because there's no appeal in flashin' a little ankle. It doesn’t serve up the warm greeting you’ll find in a smile, nor does it offer the hypnotic effect of womens' cleavage.
In fact, the only ankle-related entertainment comes from making fun of the cankle community, and that's a stretch!
Sadly, the ankle doesn't bring much to the table. Cover those puppies up!
So keep that in mind, enjoy your weekend, and stay sprezzin'...
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when women mix their drinks that means they want you?? since when?
ReplyDeleteSince the invention of straws. What I think Steve means is that when they tilt their head down toward their drink then look up at you while mixing it their body language clearly states that they want you. Anyone NOT agree?
ReplyDeleteI have seen the mankle pants as well, mostly by guidos in the Hamptons. I'm not a fan, but they are their own breed of humnans. They like tweezing their eyebrows and tanning until they're a bright orange and spending $300+ on sunglasses that they're only going to break anyway in a 'roid rage probably on Labor Day weekend. Why wouldn't they want to show off their mankles?
Thats funny. I was out the other night, unknowingly drinking out of the straw. A friend I was out with had to pull me to the side and tell me to ditch it.
ReplyDeleteI've seen way too many ankle pants wearers in my day
ReplyDelete