The Sprezz Handbook: Page 5

JB and I, well you know the routine... Today we discuss GPS-less Cab Drivers and Lazy Sandwich Slicers.

GPS-less Cab Drivers: If you're paid to transport passengers as quickly (or at least pretend to) as possible, wouldn't it make sense to eliminate any risk of getting lost?

You're supposed to be a geographical expert and this little doojigger's just BEGGING to give ya all the answers. But do take advantage? No, you spit in it's face!

When I plop down onto the cab seat, I want to relax... not stress about picking the most efficient route. This is yo' turf, baby!

Besides, these days we're overloaded with technology. As a professional, there's no excuse not to have GPS. Let's go, step your game up!

Lazy Sandwich Slicers: Whatever your task in life, you should take pride in your signature. Yea, that's right. I'm talking to you, Lazy Sandwich Slicers.

After I place an order at a deli or cafe, I want my hero cut completely. Don't quit only 90% of the way!

When I'm left to manually rip the rest apart, well let's just say that its bad news. Somehow, I miscalculate and never end up with 2 symmetrical halves.

Instead, a massacre takes place. A sandwich massacre. You might as well cue the slow motion effects and throw on that skin crawling opera music played in coming attractions.

Inevitably, the bread crust shreds off, there's mayo doused on my pants; and Lord knows that tomatoes, lettuce and cheese are flying everywhere...

It's madness I tell ya, madness... and it needs to stop. Follow through Lazy Sandwich Slicers. Knife to cutting board!

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