The Ostrich Burger Story

(A touch lengthier than usual... Requires about 3 minutes of your time.)

Every year, two weekends before St. Patrick's Day, the city of Hoboken, New Jersey hosts a parade that is basically an excuse to throw one massive party. It is by no means unusual for people to begin drinking at 9AM and continue all through the night.

After hearing great things, I had to check it out for myself.

Looking back, I couldn't be happier with my decision. The streets were flowing with a sea of green and everyone had smiles on their faces. It was as if, prior to entering, there was a mandatory contract to be signed - "Today there will be nothing but fun times and great memories. No exceptions." Even the weather was in on it, providing one of the warmest days I can remember. Certainly out of place for early March.

Unfortunately, what goes up must come down and by the end of the day you can imagine how utterly exhausted everyone had become. The task of getting home was appearing more like a mission of survival than anything else. Any vacant cabs were pounced on like winning Powerball tickets and the only other option was to take the subway. Nothing positive can result when you have hundreds of drained souls, crashing from their alcoholic binges, being jammed helplessly into one line awaiting the train. Nothing.

I saw no escape and was beginning to feel like the characters in LOST.
Get me the hell off this island!

Finally, I remembered about a car service number that I had stored in my phone. They informed me that it would take half an hour to arrive.

Well now here I am, my once hearty crew, narrowed down to just Matt and Emily (shout out!), who were both doing their best to stay upbeat. We decided to get away from the crowd and grab a bite at a popular cafe called Energy Kitchen.

After plowing through our wraps in about 3 minutes, we realized that there was still a ton of time to kill and we were still anxious to get home.

That's when I saw it on the menu. Ostrich burger.
I was intrigued... You just don't come across ostrich every day.

Still fairly inebriated, we decided to strike up a conversation with the cashier.

Matt: "So how about that ostrich burger..."

EK Cashier: "Yea?"

Steve: "Hey do you know that in all my days, I can't say that I have ever tried ostrich. How about a little sample? It'll make my day!"

EK Cashier: (Looking at me with a confused face, like NO ONE'S ever asked for an ostrich sample before... Unbelievable, this guy.)" Let me get this straight. You want a sample… of the ostrich burger?"

Steve: "That's right. I just finished my wrap so I'm not hungry enough to finish an entire burger but the experience alone of trying ostrich would mean alot to me."

EK Cashier: (Yelling behind him to the owner/chef, Nick) "Hey Nick! This guy over here, he wants to sample the ostrich!"

Nick: (Questioning loudly enough for everyone in the cafe to hear) "Huh? He wants to SAMPLE the ostrich burger?"

At this point, I was starting to get embarrassed but was too far committed. I held my ground.

Steve: "Yes that is correct. I would like a small bite of the ostrich if you wouldn't mind."

I was prepared to take a hike. Back in Manhattan, I probably would've gotten thrown out just for wasting an employee’s time. You can imagine my surprise when Nick walks up to us personally and asks "How would you like your ostrich? I'll have to cook you up a fresh burger."

A few minutes later, he brought us over a plate of ostrich burger, straight from the grill. He starts explaining the benefits of ostrich over your typical hamburger and Nick didn't ask us for a dime (we left him money). I was blown away by his gracious service... and I savored every bite of that ostrich. It was energizing (as the cafe's name suggests) and I was feeling much better. The next thing we knew, our cab was ready to take us home and we were calling it a night.

Everything fell into place because we chose to take a circumstance where we were worn out and irritable and make the best out of it. We found something different (in this case an ostrich burger) to put a spin on the situation and make it more interesting.

… So the next time you're unhappy with how your day is going just think "Ok, enough complaining. How can I sweet talk an ostrich burger out of this?"

It'll do you wonders.

And if you’re ever in Hoboken, go to Energy Kitchen! Thanks again Nick!