Race Against A Snowball!

For the purposes of this post, I should clarify the term Snowball. If you're new to Sprezzatura Central, click on the link to get caught up. Basically, a snowball is someone with the physique of a meatball, ya know, "big boned" (although I'm not sure if you can really refer to a meatball as big boned).

Anyway, it was a late Wednesday night. After a long and successful day at the office, I wanted to get the blood flowing and so I hit the gym.

I was feeling cardio, and hopped on the only vacant treadmill.

Now, ideally, I'd prefer being situated next to a show-stopping blonde in her mid-twenties. There's nothing like the presence of a dime (10 out of 10 on the looks scale, baby!) to keep you motivated. You know what I'm talking about.

Well, on this night, I found my treadmill neighbor to be a snowball who had to have been pushing 50 based on her wardrobe. Picture an over-sized version of Jane Fonda.

Whatever, I started my jog and gave life to my faithful companion (my iPod). Typically, I'll run for about 30 minutes. On this night, however, I was letting loose and already pushing an hour. The rest of the crowd began to vanish and before I knew it, only the snowball next to me remained.

Have you ever been on a subway (and if not, then just picture it) and someone EXTREMELY attractive sits across from you. They're so good looking that you feel the urge to take action but there's enough people around to make conversation seem out of the question. As a result, you both just kind of SIT there, feeling like you're under a spot light.

In a slightly different sense, that's how I felt. It was JUST myself and the snowball in the room, so it's hard not to acknowledge the other person's existence. Still, we kept to our own worlds and continued running for about another 20 minutes.

I was starting to fatigue and then it happened.

The snowball gave me a look!
Basically, her body language implied "Getting tired already? Wimp..."

Now THIS I would not stand for. I kept going and may have even taken things too far. I let her know that I meant business, giving the look from Meet the Parents. (The one in the racing scene where DeNiro points to his eyes, then to Ben Stiller, and then to the traffic light, implying he would smoke him).

The snowball rolled her eyes, like "Let's go buddy, make my day."

Always with an ace up my sleeve, I then resorted to my secret weapon. That's right, it was time for Stronger by Kanye West, my power song. I didn't come to play!

From there, it was as though a force had taken over me and I was pushing forth with motivation that would have left Forrest Gump jealous. The sweat was pouring and my water bottle had long since been depleted.

Meanwhile, the snowball was like the freakin' energizer bunny! She was still going strong and even appeared to be picking up the pace.

Another hour went by until finally I could take no more. I had to call it quits, I couldn't feel my legs!

But walk off and admit defeat? Never! Instead, I gave a frustrated look and verbalized "Oh no, I forgot!" Who knows what I forgot, I'm still not sure that she bought it.

Regardless, in all of my life, I have never witnessed the persistence exhibited by the snowball that night. It only goes to show that if you work hard enough, anything is possible. Or it shows that I got beat in a treadmill race by a girl.

Let's stick with the former.