How Women Can Embrace Fantasy Football

I always hear girls complain that they don’t get the whole fantasy football thing. They seem frustrated that they can’t relate to what all the guys are obsessing about for 17 weeks. So as a service to the women, here’s a simplified version of what to expect.

If you’re completely clueless about the concept of football then you’re probably very girly so maybe it’s easier to discuss it in terms of something more relatable, like Sex in the City (I’ve been forced to watch a few times!).

Let’s say you and a few friends start a Sex in the City fantasy league. You'll begin with a draft where first you decide the order among your group and then you pick characters from the cast to be on your team. To make it fair, if you had the first pick in the first round then you’ll have the last pick in the second round. There are a few roster spots. For example, maybe you'll each get:

1 Star: (Carrie, the slut, the brunette, and the red head)
1 Boyfriend: (whoever they are)
2 Random people: (any other characters that make frequent appearances)

If you get the first pick and choose Carrie, you get credit for all her actions and she’s off the board. After all the players are taken you decide a scoring system. For example:

Each time they get laid = +5 points
Each time they laugh: =+1 point
Each time they get dumped = -5 points
Each time they buy a pair of shoes = +2 points
…etc

As the season moves on, you make adjustments. Maybe you'll want to trade your team’s boyfriend and random person for your friend’s boyfriend because you have a hunch that he’s gonna have an affair and rack up those points. Or if your random person is no longer involved in the show then they're not gonna be producing for you so you'll want to replace them.

It's the same idea with football except that everything is multiplied (more positions, players, etc). Then, at the end of the season, the person who's team has the highest point total wins all the money!

Now that you're better informed, here's what you should realize. As a guy, I can tell you that fantasy football commands a ton of commitment both in terms of time and energy.

Take this into consideration when you’re with your man. Ask him how his team(s) are doing and support him. If his players aren’t performing, remind him that he drafted them for a reason and hopefully they’ll turn around. And if he got hit with an unfortunate series of events, well then it’s your job to please him in other ways!

For the next few months, fantasy football is a FORCE in the lives of men. You might as well go with the flow and be “the cool girl who gets it”. Trust me, your stock will go up big time. That's Sprezzatura.