The DPS Guidelines

Up until this weekend, I wasn’t a big fan of soda. For the most part, my beverage arsenal consisted mainly of coffee, water and vodka. Sure, sometimes I'd be in the mood for a carbonated beverage but in the past I would typically stick to the tried and true Coke or Pepsi brands.

Well that’s about to change, my friends, as I’m now part of the more prominent and exclusive community. That's right, I'm talking about the DPS, or Dr Pepper Society.

When you’re out drinking Dr Pepper, it makes a statement. Every Tom, Dick and Harry (did I really just use that phrase?) goes with Coke, Pepsi, Sprite, 7Up... etc. Nothing exciting going on there. Dr Pepper's different and shouts out “Now this might be someone exciting!”

I'm proud to join the DPS. You can be a part of the fun too, but you’ll have to read through the following “must know” information. Consider it your initiation...

First off, Dr Pepper does NOT have a period after the “Dr”. It’s not a mistake, that’s just how it’s done. And we like that.

“The others” refer to our drink as “Dr Pepper”. We, on the other hand, prefer using DP, or D Pizzle if you’re feeling kinda crazy. Dr. P, however, is out of the question. No.

Ideally, you should drink DP out of a can because it will be colder, and taste better. Plus, when you crack it open there’s that refreshing blast that lets you know you’re in for a good time. Oh, and you have to finish every last drop... even if it’s been sitting around and gotten warm. DP drinkers are closers by nature.

The number 23 typically signals greatness. Think Michael Jordan and LeBron James.

Well, DP has 23 unique flavors that provide not only an original and delicious drink but also the best chaser in the game. With the other sodas you might get a slight urge from time to time, but can always settle for the substitutes. Not with DP… When you get a DP craving, there’s no turning back!

If at a restaurant, the waitress explains that DP is unavailable and offers root beer as an alternative, you must turn it down. As a matter of fact, scoffing in her face for the mere suggestion would not be out of line. She’s clearly not part of the DPS.

However, with your newfound knowledge, you can rise above that.

Now don't get me wrong, there comes a certain amount of responsibility with being that interesting person in the room who stands out while enjoying the 23 flavors of greatness. You will undoubtably be held to a higher standard. But that’s Sprezzatura.