The Foot Story

You know what I love? Hilariously embarrassing stories. The ones where you look back and just have to laugh. For example, the other day, I was having lunch with a client. We didn’t know each other well and I wanted to make a strong first impression.

It started off well enough. He invited me into his office and we discussed our businesses and how we could potentially help one another. I was dressed sharp and talking a big sales game. All was going well and after about a half hour of shooting the shit, we decided to grab lunch at the café along the corner.

… And then it happened.

While sitting down, I must've had one foot crossed over the other. Well, when I went to stand up, I noticed that my right foot was DEAD asleep... I couldn’t even feel it.

What was I going to do!? He was already up and walking forward. It wasn't like I could call "time out" or convince him that his chairs were SO comfy I just wanted to sit and appreciate them... I had no choice but to try and tough it out. And if you’ve ever experienced this, you learn pretty quickly that a novocained foot is difficult if not impossible to overcome.

For the next 10 minutes, I was forced to stumble around like a bumbling retard! I still cringe thinking about the humiliation.

In utter desperation, I resorted to a Seinfeld reference - the one where Jerry's foot falls asleep- and did my best to laugh it off as we entered the elevator. Fortunately, my client was cool about it, but I wasn't in the clear just yet. When we reached the lobby the awkwardness returned. People were waiting and I still couldn’t move. “Whenever you’re ready, pal...”, one asshole scoffed my way.

(Thanks, dick.)

Still, I brushed it off and we grabbed lunch. A pleasant lunch at that. In the end, we discussed plans of future networking events, left off on a good note and I carried forward with my day... both feet completely in tact. That’s Sprezzatura.