The Street Vendor Contenders

In between football discussions Sunday, I had a scintillating conversation with my new buddy Joe F (to which much of this post's credit goes to) about New York's street vendors. If you think about it, they're quite a fascinating breed.

First off, you've got the umbrella sellers. Ever notice how these guys have a knack for popping out at JUST the right moment? It's a thing of beauty!



They're always ready to roll precisely as the first rain drop hits the pavement. Does anyone know where the hell they come from? Somehow these guys are always just there when ya need 'em. Then, like vampires, they vanish before sunrise!

Next, you have the cell phone stands. Interesting stuff here with lots to offer. Travel chargers, batteries, adapters, blue tooth head sets, plastic carrying cases, memory cards, data cables... These guys have EVERYTHING you could possibly ask for. Except for a phone. They never actually sell the cells. This always confused me.

Speaking of questionable situations, this brings us to the fruit vendors. Listen, I love apples and bananas as much as the next guy, it's just that I get curious because, well, think about it... They're out there all day grinding away but how do these people make a living?

It's not like they reel in Costco-like lines. I pay attention and occasionally you'll see granny warbucks pass by, haggle down a tangerine or two and hit the road... but that's about it. Seriously, what kind of profit margin are we talking from flipping a couple of grapes??

I assume the used book salesmen deal with a similar concern, but NOT the meat vendors. These guys are in a league of their own and have the potential to be like rock stars. You think i'm exaggerating? Just ask around about my man Thiru "Dosa Man" Kumar.



The following acclaim comes straight from the Vendy Awards (what, you didn't attend?)

“Thiru makes super fresh Indian food– mixed in with his own influences from Sri Lanka. All under the constraints and philosophy of veganism. He’s always exceptionally nice and professional. Everyone knows that if money is scarce, you can get a meal from him and pay later. He’s a great guy, humanitarian and environmentalist all while being one of the most legit chefs in the city. And his food is cheap. I essentially survive because of Thiru.”

With a track record like that it looks like TK's headed straight for the hall of fame. Keep up the good work! That's Sprezzatura.

One Helluva Breakfast

When taking into consideration a person's identity, people typically emphasize certain categories- gender, age, religion...etc. Well, I'm going to propose a new attribute.

My name is Steve Rubin and I'm an "early waker". That's right, when I go out drinking, I tend to wake up the next morning at an extremely premature hour. Then I stare at the clock in utter disbelief that I only gave my body 4 hours of time to recharge. Oh, how I envy those who can sleep the day away until 2 in the afternoon. Like Bill Simmons says, if only you could purchase such an ability on EBay...

And today is Sunday, one of the most exciting days of the week. We're talking bars, football and the best night in television. It's like a TV buffet- Entourage, Curb, the start of Dexter and Californication, that new show with the fat guy from The Hangover that I'm not sure if I like yet but I'm gonna give the second episode a serious shot... I feel like a kid in a candy store!



So with all that fun right around the corner, I couldn't kill the mood by messing around in the torture chamber. That's what my bed feels like when I try to deal with early waking by forcing myself back to sleep. It never works and I'm always miserable. No, I refused to take that route and today I handled my problem head on. I took the "I'm gonna wake up, be tired as hell but have such a good time that I won't give a crap!" approach.

The first and most important task was to get some energy in the tank. My groceries were depleted so I had to gather my nutrition from external sources. Thankfully, I live right across from Dunkin Donuts.

Now I know what you're thinking. Their coffee is solid but what the hell do you eat at Dunkin Donuts?

Well, my friends, I'm about to share with you the biggest kept secret of the breakfast underworld. The eggwhite flatbread with vegetables. It's delicious, light and satisfying. The perfect "get up and go" meal. Throw in a cup of Joe and you've got the ultimate 1-2 punch. That's Sprezzatura.



Give it a shot... you'll thank me later. Gotta run, football time!

Special Project

It's time to switch it up and so Dr. Bob, JB and I are working on a bonus for Sprezz readers.

Keep checking in for more updates and new posts!

The Haircut Trick

Some men hold off a good month and half, while others return after a couple of weeks. For me, haircut time rolls around every 21 days and sadly up until recently, I was scared as hell each time that fateful moment arrived.



After all, if your barber botches up... oh boy, that's bad news. Next thing ya know, you walk out feelin about as self-conscious as a man strollin' into an exclusive night club wearing a wrinkled shirt and pants with an apple juice stain in the crotch!

And I had been enduring some rough cuts. I tried everything to improve the situation, from step by step walk throughs, to the laid back confidence booster, where you kick back and tell 'em, "I can tell you're a pro... Just work your magic, my friend." Yet somehow, I kept walking away unsatisfied.

One mistake in particular that I made was dishing out early praise. Basically, if my cut was off to a good start, then I'd flash a smile and preach out, "Nice job! Keep up the good work!" Ya know, a little positive reinforcement.

... and like the kiss of death, that's when it all went straight to hell!

I truly began to dread the haircut until one day, FINALLY, it came to me. The answer. A sure fire way to reach success! From now on, every time I hop in the seat, I simply use the magic words. No, not please and thank you. The secret is, "Hey I need you to take care of me, I've got a big first date tonight!"

Let me tell ya, I'm not sure if they take it as a personal challenge or if they're living vicariously, but suddenly you'll see this barber more in the zone than a college student cramming for finals on 4 doses of adderall!

The best part is they never catch on that I seem to have a new big date every 3 weeks... and if you think making up random situations about how I met "this girl" or brainstorming plans for the night ever gets old, you're crazy!



Yes, the haircut trick works like a charm. It really passes along the time, leads to some extremely entertaining conversation and in the end, brings results. That's Sprezzatura.

The Usual Suspects

Slightly dated but great article on the different types of Facebookers... Thanks to Arlene for bringing to my attention!



Click Here!


... Which one are YOU?

Bartender Fishin'

This Sunday, I went to a popular Manhattan bar with a few buddies to watch football. The place was PACKED which was great for energy purposes but made ordering drinks at the bar frustrating.

In really crowded situations, catching the bartender can be difficult for guys...



Men usually kick off the process using the eye contact route. Standard procedure… You hope by shooting a look in the drink slinger’s direction that you'll get acknowledged. But if 90 seconds pass and you remain unnoticed then it’s time to take action. That's right, it's time for the finger raise.

Ahh the finger raise. A full fledged wave would be too geeky but your pointer alone provides just the right touch. Here’s what you need to remember… timing is everything. One must wait precisely until entering the bartender's vision before pulling the trigger.

Otherwise, it gets really awkward as you stand there with your hand in the air… remember, you're not hailing a cab. This should be a smooth operation. Stike quick, my friend. Strike quick!

Along the way, you'll probably compete with a few money flaggers. I’m not a big fan of these characters. They break out the cash early and start waving it around to attract the target (and/or gold diggers). If you ask me, it’s a little on the tacky side.

Equally as irritating are the self-permitted orderers. You know what I'm talking about. The bartender's tied up, there's a queue of people who've waited patiently and yet these prima donnas roll up out of nowhere and start dishing out requests like they own the joint!

Still, regardless of my opinions, each of these methods have proven successful from time to time. We all have our own personal styles.

And don't worry if the environment is challenging and you're growing impatient because there's always my personal favorite approach- just have your/a girl buy the drinks for you! Women always seem to get quicker results... Why not take advantage?

Of course, it goes without say to take care of her for helping you out. That's Sprezzatura.

Random Joke That Made Me Laugh

It's Monday which means the mood needs to be lightened. Besides, you can never have enough humor in your life! Here's today's RJTMML, or Random Joke That Made Me Laugh. Credit goes to Nick Thune.

What's the most awkward place to run into a homeless person?

.... On your way to the Coinstar.



Have a joke/funny story? Share the laughs and submit it to sprezzcentral@gmail.com

The Dating Black Card (Featuring Ms. Terry)

(As discussed, there have been suggestions to add some women perspective to the site. So once again, today's post comes from a female contributor, Ms. Terry.)

Ms. Terry: Summer time is over, boys. That may not mean the same thing to you as it did years ago but one common theme remains, the end of freedom. Summer is a time for flings, NSA (no strings attached) hook-ups and carefree fun... but have you ever heard of a “winter fling?”

I don’t think so. In the past, the end of summer brought the return of school. These days, it brings the return of dating. Vacation is over and it’s time to get back to work.

As if being a single 20 something in Manhattan wasn’t already hard enough, now we’re all navigating through in the current economic situation. People are making cuts everywhere, and the dating world is no exception. Many of my male friends have expressed a desire to date (ironically right after labor day) but feel as though they can’t afford to.

So my gift to you fellas this week is rather than point out those silly things you do wrong (just kidding) I am going to share with you a present and show how you can turn a “so-so date” into a WOW! date.



Here’s what you have to realize. CHIVALRY IS NOT DEAD! (Re-read that sentence) A lot of my guys joke about their lack of financial resources, “What do these girls think I have a black card or something?” Well, think of Chivalry as your black card to dating. It will open a whole new world of doors and offers a reward programs that you didn’t even know existed. The best part is… ITS FREE!

Women notice and appreciate the little things of the date, the things you don’t even realize, and these are the things that get you that 2nd date.

A woman will remember you opening her door and pulling out her chair. And while she may recall that the tasty $15 cocktail she ordered at a swanky restaurant, I assure you that such a detail will pail in comparison to your impressive use of the black card.

Yeah yeah, I know this all seems cheesy and unnecessary, but these small details can make a HUGE difference. For most women (gold diggers aside), it doesn’t matter what you spent, it’s how you treated us.

These little basic acts of chivalry make women feel special, liked, and show care. So don’t worry if that wallet is a little lighter this dating season, just member to bring your dating black card! That’s Sprezzatura.

One Man Show

Ya gotta love when people make it big and still hook others up... Thanks to Eric for passing on this article about how famous rapper Ludacris gave out 20 cars to people in need. That's Sprezzatura.



Click here!

The DPS Guidelines

Up until this weekend, I wasn’t a big fan of soda. For the most part, my beverage arsenal consisted mainly of coffee, water and vodka. Sure, sometimes I'd be in the mood for a carbonated beverage but in the past I would typically stick to the tried and true Coke or Pepsi brands.

Well that’s about to change, my friends, as I’m now part of the more prominent and exclusive community. That's right, I'm talking about the DPS, or Dr Pepper Society.

When you’re out drinking Dr Pepper, it makes a statement. Every Tom, Dick and Harry (did I really just use that phrase?) goes with Coke, Pepsi, Sprite, 7Up... etc. Nothing exciting going on there. Dr Pepper's different and shouts out “Now this might be someone exciting!”

I'm proud to join the DPS. You can be a part of the fun too, but you’ll have to read through the following “must know” information. Consider it your initiation...

First off, Dr Pepper does NOT have a period after the “Dr”. It’s not a mistake, that’s just how it’s done. And we like that.

“The others” refer to our drink as “Dr Pepper”. We, on the other hand, prefer using DP, or D Pizzle if you’re feeling kinda crazy. Dr. P, however, is out of the question. No.

Ideally, you should drink DP out of a can because it will be colder, and taste better. Plus, when you crack it open there’s that refreshing blast that lets you know you’re in for a good time. Oh, and you have to finish every last drop... even if it’s been sitting around and gotten warm. DP drinkers are closers by nature.

The number 23 typically signals greatness. Think Michael Jordan and LeBron James.

Well, DP has 23 unique flavors that provide not only an original and delicious drink but also the best chaser in the game. With the other sodas you might get a slight urge from time to time, but can always settle for the substitutes. Not with DP… When you get a DP craving, there’s no turning back!

If at a restaurant, the waitress explains that DP is unavailable and offers root beer as an alternative, you must turn it down. As a matter of fact, scoffing in her face for the mere suggestion would not be out of line. She’s clearly not part of the DPS.

However, with your newfound knowledge, you can rise above that.

Now don't get me wrong, there comes a certain amount of responsibility with being that interesting person in the room who stands out while enjoying the 23 flavors of greatness. You will undoubtably be held to a higher standard. But that’s Sprezzatura.

Can't Stop, Won't Stop.

The other day I went home to visit my family on Long Island and my teenage sister had invited a few friends over. Well, just being around them made me feel pretty old.

They were so happy to watch a horror movie and order Dominos ("Don't forget the cheese sticks, and oh yea cinna sticks, we GOTTA have cinna sticks!!") that it almost made me jealous. I missed that youthful innocence and enthusiasm.

Wanting to change the vibe, I busted out my iPod and ironically, the first song to hit the randomized play list was by Jay-Z.



Ahh Jay-Z. Now HERE'S a man who has embraced his age. Usually, as people acquire a certain amount of fame, they lose touch with reality. They become less motivated and appear less cool. Especially as they get older.

But not Jay-Z. He's always been the epitome of swagger. A true trend setter. And even at 40 years old, an age considered ancient for a rapper, he continues to promote that "Here's how it's done, kids. Take notes..." vibe.

You see, the true men of Sprezzatura don't focus on not being able to enjoy things of the past that would now seem inappropriate. Instead, they're too busy paving the way for what to do in the next chapter. They make the blueprint, as Jay-Z always preaches.



Look at Jack Nicholson still holding it down at Lakers games. Or how Charles Barkley retired from the NBA and has become the funniest analyst in the game. I can't think of any women examples at the moment, but I'm sure they're out there!

The point is that any event, from suddenly going bald, to having kids, to even witnessing the joy of your sisters' friends delightfully ordering late night munchies can trigger the "Holy shit! I'm getting old..." thought.

The question is, my friends, how do you react? Are you bitching or are you blue printing? That's Sprezzatura.

The Foot Story

You know what I love? Hilariously embarrassing stories. The ones where you look back and just have to laugh. For example, the other day, I was having lunch with a client. We didn’t know each other well and I wanted to make a strong first impression.

It started off well enough. He invited me into his office and we discussed our businesses and how we could potentially help one another. I was dressed sharp and talking a big sales game. All was going well and after about a half hour of shooting the shit, we decided to grab lunch at the café along the corner.

… And then it happened.

While sitting down, I must've had one foot crossed over the other. Well, when I went to stand up, I noticed that my right foot was DEAD asleep... I couldn’t even feel it.

What was I going to do!? He was already up and walking forward. It wasn't like I could call "time out" or convince him that his chairs were SO comfy I just wanted to sit and appreciate them... I had no choice but to try and tough it out. And if you’ve ever experienced this, you learn pretty quickly that a novocained foot is difficult if not impossible to overcome.

For the next 10 minutes, I was forced to stumble around like a bumbling retard! I still cringe thinking about the humiliation.

In utter desperation, I resorted to a Seinfeld reference - the one where Jerry's foot falls asleep- and did my best to laugh it off as we entered the elevator. Fortunately, my client was cool about it, but I wasn't in the clear just yet. When we reached the lobby the awkwardness returned. People were waiting and I still couldn’t move. “Whenever you’re ready, pal...”, one asshole scoffed my way.

(Thanks, dick.)

Still, I brushed it off and we grabbed lunch. A pleasant lunch at that. In the end, we discussed plans of future networking events, left off on a good note and I carried forward with my day... both feet completely in tact. That’s Sprezzatura.

The Perfect Episode

In my opinion, the formula for a successful half hour TV show =

3 memorable scenes

+ random laughs

+ can't miss character (Ari Gold)

+ cliffhanger ending.

Well, Entourage really delivered the goods this week. It was funny as hell watching Drama get tossed around like a rag doll by Vince's private security team. Then there were Ari's attempts at staying cool around Babs while Klein was MIA.

E finally called out his pedestal placed dream girl, Sloan, and said what we always wanna say to Draggers. The "car crash into his house" and "jail sell" scenes with Klein were very entertaining stuff... and all of which was capped off with the stalker ending!

Every second of the ride was enjoyable. Well done, Entourage. That's Sprezzatura.

How Women Can Embrace Fantasy Football

I always hear girls complain that they don’t get the whole fantasy football thing. They seem frustrated that they can’t relate to what all the guys are obsessing about for 17 weeks. So as a service to the women, here’s a simplified version of what to expect.

If you’re completely clueless about the concept of football then you’re probably very girly so maybe it’s easier to discuss it in terms of something more relatable, like Sex in the City (I’ve been forced to watch a few times!).

Let’s say you and a few friends start a Sex in the City fantasy league. You'll begin with a draft where first you decide the order among your group and then you pick characters from the cast to be on your team. To make it fair, if you had the first pick in the first round then you’ll have the last pick in the second round. There are a few roster spots. For example, maybe you'll each get:

1 Star: (Carrie, the slut, the brunette, and the red head)
1 Boyfriend: (whoever they are)
2 Random people: (any other characters that make frequent appearances)

If you get the first pick and choose Carrie, you get credit for all her actions and she’s off the board. After all the players are taken you decide a scoring system. For example:

Each time they get laid = +5 points
Each time they laugh: =+1 point
Each time they get dumped = -5 points
Each time they buy a pair of shoes = +2 points
…etc

As the season moves on, you make adjustments. Maybe you'll want to trade your team’s boyfriend and random person for your friend’s boyfriend because you have a hunch that he’s gonna have an affair and rack up those points. Or if your random person is no longer involved in the show then they're not gonna be producing for you so you'll want to replace them.

It's the same idea with football except that everything is multiplied (more positions, players, etc). Then, at the end of the season, the person who's team has the highest point total wins all the money!

Now that you're better informed, here's what you should realize. As a guy, I can tell you that fantasy football commands a ton of commitment both in terms of time and energy.

Take this into consideration when you’re with your man. Ask him how his team(s) are doing and support him. If his players aren’t performing, remind him that he drafted them for a reason and hopefully they’ll turn around. And if he got hit with an unfortunate series of events, well then it’s your job to please him in other ways!

For the next few months, fantasy football is a FORCE in the lives of men. You might as well go with the flow and be “the cool girl who gets it”. Trust me, your stock will go up big time. That's Sprezzatura.