Just Another Day In The Life...

If you've ever seen the comedy Zoolander, then hopefully we can agree that:

1. The movie is absolutely hysterical.
2. It basically DESTROYS the idea of male models.

Growing up, while I've often tussled with the idea of becoming an actor, I NEVER considered pursuing a modeling career. Sure, I like to try (key word) and dress well but not to the extent of those GQ characters in the magazines.

Then, one day things changed. What could have possibly happened?
I'll break it down for you...

It was a sunny Friday afternoon, I had the day off from work, and was leaving the gym. As you can probably guess, on the walk home I was conceding to my addiction (my ipod) and it was definitely John Mayer weather/vibes.

I'm walking back to my apartment, minding my own business, when out of nowhere some bald man with one arm flags me down in a huff.

Bald, One-armed man: "Excuse me sir. I'm sorry to bother you but have you ever modeled?"

(OH COME ON... Like you wouldn't be flattered? Who are you kidding??)

Me: "Nah, never."

Bald, one-armed man: "You would be ABSOLUTELY PERFECT for our upcoming shoot."

Now he had my attention. First off, I'd meet some smokin' women, right? Then, who knows what doors could be opened. Maybe I could get into acting.
(Note: This was back when I was an accountant and the number crunching left me unsatisfied. I love Recruiting - Accounting & Corporate Finance)

Besides, I had just broken up with my girlfriend and the thought alone was great;
"Oh heyyyy... How are you?? Your new boyfriends a really NICE guy? I'm happy for you. Sorry I couldn't get back to you sooner, ya know, I've just been so busy traveling the world modeling with ridiculously good looking women..."

I was starting to get excited.

Me: "Oh yea? What are we talking, Armani? Dolce & Gabanna? I'm sure you can understand I have to pick the right brand and cultivate my image."

Bald, one-armed man: (Kind of amused, like "this guy is CLUELESS", and responding in a very matter of fact, "take it or leave it" tone) "Abercrombie & Fitch..... For Kids."

Although I was insulted, I still decided to hear more. The bald, one-armed man called an associate and basically informed me that I'd be heading to their Park Avenue office to meet with some important lady.

After asking a bunch of questions to ensure that this wasn't a scam, I then showered and headed into midtown. When I arrived at the office, there was a flock of beautiful women just hanging around. If you think I wasn't going to milk this for all it's worth, you're crazy.

(Puffing out my chest) "Excuse me ladies, would one of you please point me in the direction of the modeling agency. I'm only asking because I've been invited to become a model... and I need to speak with some very important people. I'm sure that you, my fellow comrades in the modeling world, can understand."

My blatant attempt to brag/impress actually got a few smiles, along with the directions that I needed.

When I met with the important lady, I was asked a few standard questions. She was all about getting down to business.

Important lady: "First off, who's your agent?"
Me: "My agent? I'm an accountant who was at the gym..."

Important lady: "Hmmm... Ok. Well, what do you weigh?"
Me: "I haven't checked my weight in 5 years."

Important lady: "How tall are you?"
Me: "Well I used to be 5'10 back in high school so I HAVE to be at least 6 foot... If that helps at all."

Somehow, I don't think I was making a great impression.

Long story short, I was then thrown into a room like a prisoner of war with a few photographers. It started out all nice and simple. All they asked was for me to smile.

Then I was told to kindly remove my shirt. (Starting to get a little awkard...)

Only it wasn't over. That's right, they then proceeded to strip me of my clothes while taking pictures like I was a piece of meat! Oh, the horror!

Finally, an assistant thanked me for my time, explained that my pictures would be kept in a directory for the right occassion, and that I would receive a call if my services were needed.

I never did get that call. But you know what? It was one hell of a ride.

Sometimes it's just fun to daydream... and partaking in different experiences always makes you more interesting as a person.

That's Sprezzatura. Besides, I'll always have Zoolander to live through vicariously.