Magic Potions: The other day at GNC, I noticed all of these different energy drinks. You know what I'm talking about, those mini bottles that claim to give you an amazing boost with no crash (which sounds pretty suspicious to me). Doesn't it seem like it's getting out of hand? First it was 5, now they have ones offering 6 and even 7 hours of energy!
When will it end? And are there actually customers out there thinking "Hmm... 7 would be overkill but 5’s not enough.. I’m going to need the 6 hour energy drink!"?? Anyone with Sprezz doesn't need to rely on magic to perform.
Heavy Gym Breathers: It's understood that you're supposed to inhale and exhale while lifting weights. We get it... but don't be one of those people that take it too far. I work out to enjoy myself and relieve stress, so the last thing that I need is Hurricane Andrew all up in my face! Heavy breathers at the gym, please show some composure and keep it in your pants.
Oblivious Giant Umbrella Holders: For anyone that works in a busy city like Manhattan, everything is time sensitive and you move at a face pace. Rainy weather sucks because if you don't spring for a cab you end up dodging puddles left and right. It's like an Olympic event and these offenders only add fuel to the fire.
Heavy Gym Breathers: It's understood that you're supposed to inhale and exhale while lifting weights. We get it... but don't be one of those people that take it too far. I work out to enjoy myself and relieve stress, so the last thing that I need is Hurricane Andrew all up in my face! Heavy breathers at the gym, please show some composure and keep it in your pants.
Oblivious Giant Umbrella Holders: For anyone that works in a busy city like Manhattan, everything is time sensitive and you move at a face pace. Rainy weather sucks because if you don't spring for a cab you end up dodging puddles left and right. It's like an Olympic event and these offenders only add fuel to the fire.
The Oblivious Giant Umbrella Holders come flying out of nowhere with their massive weapons of destruction that take up half the sidewalk. Then they show complete disregard for civilian traffic while bobbling around aimlessly like they had just gotten kicked out of a bar. I don't remember signing up for a jousting match.
You know that it's only a matter of time before somebody's losing an eye. Pay attention to what you're doing, Oblivious Giant Umbrella Holders. Watch out with those things!
HAHA i saw some kid get whacked in the face by a giant umbrella holder yesterday! so funny
ReplyDeleteDon't u dare hate on 5 hour energy... It blows red bull out of the water!!
ReplyDeleteI juts drank some 5 hour energy... let's see if it gets me through the day/my hangover.
ReplyDeleteIf you ever want your subordinates to work faster and more efficiently, I would advise you to drug all of them with 5 hour energy because it WORKS !!! (If anyone is interested in saving money, I strongly encourage you to purchase in bulk from costco - its worth it.)
ReplyDeleteAnd here here on the giant umbrellas. Especially when short people use them and end up poking everyone around them in the eye.
btw... why no picture for heavy gym breathers? You could've gotten pretty creative with that one!
ReplyDeleteYour right... I threw the pics last second. Great suggestion by Steven Alvarez (http://www.stevenalvarez.com/), who btw is going to be helping with the upcoming redesign of Sprezz Central.
ReplyDeleteholla holla holla
ReplyDelete