Everyone is getting pumped up with summer just around the corner. We all have our memories and there's one in particular that I'll never forget.
It was a beautiful day and I was out on a first date. We thought it would be fun to grab some gelato and walk around while enjoying the sunny weather. This was my first time trying the dessert and I was impressed. The place that had she picked had all different flavors and crazy toppings... they even had sandwich style gelatos.
Every last bite was savored and the Italian treats really hit the spot. Now the moment felt right. You know what I'm talking about, it was time to go in for that pivotal first kiss.
As far as I know, there are 2 preferred methods of execution:
1. The "Hitch" approach, where you gaze into her eyes and then lean in about 90% while hoping that she meets you. It's a conservative approach because you can always adjust midway if it appears like you may face rejection.
2. The "Get over here!" approach, where you resort to a primal beast and just take charge. This requires more confidence.
Since it was our first date, I was a little nervous... but if I didn't take action soon then it was going to become awkward so I converted my procrastination into an eye gaze.
(Here we go...)
Then, just as I was about to lean forward, I felt a wet sensation from out of nowhere. It was unfamiliar and uncomfortable. Certainly not part of the plan!
I traced the source back to my arm and there I saw it... bird shit. That's right, I had gotten cock blocked by a freakin' pigeon!
It was shocking and really threw me off. Fortunately, my date was much quicker on her toes. She laughed and then suggested that we should get a lottery ticket because bird shit is a sign of good luck . I wasn't sure if she had just made that up to lighten the moment or not but it was appreciated.
Anyone with Sprezzatura goes out of there way to break the ice and make others feel comfortable. Loyal readers will get the reference- she sweet talked an ostrich burger.
By the way, ladies... do you prefer choice 1 or 2 regarding the first kiss?
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Ha! that's terrible
ReplyDeleteI gotta get me some gelato
ReplyDeleteI had a bird shit on my head once while I was eating lunch during high school. I bought a lotto ticket. Apparently it's not as lucky as most people think.
ReplyDelete2... definitely #2.
ReplyDeleteGelatos are extremely underrated. In my top 3 desserts aside from black and white cookies and those little mini flower shaped cookies(they're usually pink or green) that come in the assorted box.
ReplyDeleteI personally think the most effective and ubiquitous 'lean in' for a first kiss move is when one's head is spinning in circles, dancing (or stumbling) around with two left feet, and slobbering all over the image on the other end of his 5 inch beer goggles.
ReplyDeletewhere did you go to get gelatos? and #1 for sure!
ReplyDelete#2 all the way
ReplyDelete