6 Popular Voice Mail Routes

Last month, I discussed my thoughts about leaving useless voice mails (as a caller). If I had my way, we'd all resort to a text message only system. But I’ve come to grips with the fact that some people just enjoy letting their voice be heard.

With that said, you're going to receive voice mails... so let's discuss the signals that your message gives to callers. Here are 6 of the most popular voice mails and what you should know about them (because my opinion means everything).

1. To kick things off, I’m not a big fan of the primitive ones that include only your name, or worse, let some automated voice shoot back the phone number. There's nothing to work with here... zero personality. It's basically like telling the world, "I'm gonna sit the next few plays out."

2. Then, there’s the ultra peppy, upbeat message. Sometimes this can get a little out of control. I start to get suspicious... Why is this person SO happy? As a skeptical New Yorker, it's concerning to me. Women can get the benefit of the doubt of just sounding cute, but men should probably take it down a notch.

3. Still, it's better to have an over-anxious voice mail than be the Debbie Downer. This is when, for whatever reason, the person you're calling's recording sounds flat out miserable. You can just picture 'em hunched over in the bathroom after drowning their sorrows in a bottle of whiskey. These messages get ME depressed just from listening! Throw on a smile, please.

4. Of course there’s the cliché, “Hi you’ve reached ______, I’m not here right now but if you leave your name, number and a reason for calling then I’ll be sure to get back to you.” Really? Is that how we're gonna do this? Thanks for spelling out the voice mail protocol so clearly or I might have been lost there just stuttering away aimlessly...

5. Thankfully, every once and while, you run into a fake out message. Ya know, the ol' “Hey, what’s up? ………… Just kidding! Leave a message.” I always enjoy the curve ball (and fall for it every time). It's refreshing to see a little differentiation.

6. And finally, there are the free-spirited individuals who feel the need to play a song as their voice mail. You ever run into these characters? They tend to smoke a lot of pot. And there's nothing wrong with that... as long as it's a good song.

Does your voice mail give right the message? Stay Sprezzin...