The other day I went to CVS to re-up on my 1-2 punch of dark chocolates (this week it was Dove). As I approached the store, there was a homeless man hunched over by the entrance.
Due to the overwhelming existence of homelessness in Manhattan, an unspoken agreement exists, in that whenever you're asked for food/money there are two choices on how to react: hook it up or avoid eye contact and keep it movin'... Either way, that's supposed to be the end of your exchange.
But on this given day, there was a breach of contract!
Ya see, I entered CVS safe and sound. The man behind me, however, wasn't so lucky. He was minding his own business and chatting away on the phone... when suddenly the hobo lunged from out of nowhere and cracked him in the face! It was like watching a rattlesnake go to town on it's prey.
(Incidentally, another of Manhattan's unspoken rules is that you never physically hit a homeless person, just like you don't acknowledge the crazy preachers on subways. You simply put up with their madness, knowing that it comes with the city.)
Over the next 15 minutes, I witnessed everything short of assault. Rightfully so, the guy next to me straight up lost it! If the homeless man didn't already have self-esteem issues... well, you get the point.
I felt bad and even offered the enraged cheap shot victim a dark chocolate. He turned it down. That's how you know when someone's not thinking rationally.
Life's unexpected problems always hurt the worst. But hey, shit happens... just don't get too shook up from the homeless man's sucker punch. Gotta keep moving forward. That's Sprezzatura.
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You have a lot to learn young Steven!!!! Pretending not to see the homeless guy is one thing, but once a certain line is crossed and someone sucker punches me, the rules are thrown out the window! At that point it doesn't matter to me how difficult his life must be......you don't sucker punch someone and not catch a beating for it. Don't get too shook up???? I might punch the next three homeless people I see just for good measure. Furthermore, I would ensure that your dumb ass would be walking out of CVS with a box of Dove bars jammed up your ass! You never get cute with a man who was just sucker punched. Actually, you shouldn't be offering stange men chocolate in any situation! That's just creepy and your doumb ass should be ignored just like the rest of the weirdos in NYC.....its in the rules!
ReplyDeleteHaha what an awesome story! I guess you could consider yourself the lucky one that didn't get sucker punched? Or maybe, since he's homeless and all and probably bored, he was counting to a certain number of people that passed him and had planned all along to punch the "100th" person that passed. That guy just happened to be the one. I'd like to think that's how it really went down.
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