His Secret Weapon (Featuring Ms. Terry)

(As discussed, there have been suggestions to add some women perspective to the site. So once again, today's post comes from a female contributor, Ms. Terry.)

Ms. Terry: I’ve always prided myself on having a lot of male friends. I was the girl that could chill with the guys, without being “one of the guys”, and my female role was always prevalent.

They've benefited because I helped with their wardrobe, picked out birthday and anniversary gifts, and advised them out of countless jams with their significant others.



I've planned romantic dates, taught them how to do laundry, and so on. All of which probably deserves a metal of honor but it’s my role to stay behind the scenes.

A guy’s platonic woman friend is his secret weapon. Such a companion is incredibly useful but must be kept on the down low around his love interests.

No girl wants to hear how close another woman is with her boyfriend/guy that she’s dating. Nor do we want to hear that she’s responsible for picking out the necklace that adorns our neck. After all, we’re most likely only wearing it because it came from him (even though it totally clashes with our usual style).

Women like to feel assured that they’re his “go to girl”- the one he calls on for everything. I am not saying that guys shouldn’t have female friends, but like anything else, there is a time and place.

For example, any discussion involving female friends should definitely be kept under wraps during a first date. It doesn’t matter if this friend is married, gay or fat to the point where her stomach protrudes so far that kissing is not even a threat as it would be a physical impossibility… NEVER talk about female friends on a first date.



First dates are about getting to know each other and seeing if there is chemistry. It’s not when women want to learn about how wonderful and platonic a man’s friendship is with someone else.

I was actually on a first date with a guy, which was going pretty well until his phone started going off… it was her. Not an ex or another girl he was dating, but his female bff.

She knew we were on a date, and actually texted to see how it was going. (seriously girls, if your guy friend is on a date, don’t text an hour in for status – he’ll let you know if he needs your help and if it was that bad – he'll call you right after he escapes).

How do I know this? He told me – which was naturally followed by an explanation of who she was, how close they were and how why they were really just friends. Does that really sound like a conversation anyone girl wants to have on a date especially the first one?

I don’t think so. Keep the secret weapon… a secret. That’s Sprezzatura.